Katy Mixon is the funniest part of the CBS sitcom Mike & Molly. Which, admittedly, isn’t the most ringing endorsement. It’s like saying, “Katy Mixon was the funniest part of the Razzie-winning Sandra Bullock comedy All About Steve,” or “Katy Mixon was the only thing that made Four Christmases remotely watchable.” All of those statements are entirely true, but it’s not the stuff of awards-season buzz. The only movie or TV project that Mixon hasn’t single-handedly saved from mediocrity was the first season of HBO’s Eastbound & Down, in which she played Kenny Power’s objet d’amour. While being noticeably funny in the presence of Danny McBride is no small feat, it’s not the thing most people seem to remember about her stint on the show. Even two years after the fact, comedy nerds are still debating whether she did or didn’t use a body double for her Eastbound & Down topless scene. The general consensus is that they weren’t her boobs, but the discussion is ongoing. “There are some moles/freckles that are visible on the boobs shown,” wrote one creepily observant fan. “Yet not in other shots of Katy Mixon’s cleavage.” If the freckle count on your cleavage is the hottest topic about you on Interweb message boards, then maybe being the funny one on Mike & Molly isn’t such a bad career compromise, after all.

I called Katy Mixon while she was on her way home from the set of Mike & Molly—which, despite this snarky introduction, I really do enjoy. I happen to agree with NPR, which reviewed the show with the headline: “Mike And Molly Deserves A Solid Round Of Faint Praise.” It may not be the best sitcom on TV, but whenever Mixon is onscreen, saying lines like “Guys hate it when you sneeze on their weiners,” in a voice that sounds like Dody Goodman after a few bong hits, it can certainly feel like it.

Eric Spitznagel: You’re originally from Pensacola, right?

Katy Mixon: That’s right, darlin’. Pensacola, Florida, born and raised.

All I know about Pensacola is that the beaches are lousy with sharks. Was that your experience growing up there?

Oh honey, no, no! The beaches are incredible! They’re so white, they’re like snow. There are some sharks, but it’s Pensacola, so they’re more civilized. Out here in California, in the Pacific Ocean, the sharks have a bad attitude. They’re more likely to bite you. But not in the Gulf Coast.

I’m kind of surprised you have an accent. Does Florida technically count as the South?

Well, Pensacola isn’t Florida, really. It’s the Panhandle. It’s right up there near Alabama and Louisiana. It’s like a stroll away from New Orleans. I feel like New Orleans is home.

You’re a classically trained actress, right?

I am, Eric, I am! I went to the Carnegie Mellon School of Drama.

Isn’t that a party school? Nothing but beer bongs and wet-shirt contests?

[Long pause.] I don’t know if it is or not. I was immersed in the conservatory. And they mean business. You kind of stay confined in the walls of drama. A lot of people don’t know that my background is completely classical. For awhile there, I was all about Moliere and the Greeks and Brecht and Tennessee Williams.

And Shakespeare?

Oh absolutely. My very first acting job ever, the first time I got paid to be an actress, was in 2001, right between my sophomore and junior year in college, when I was just 19 years old. I got paid $250 every two weeks, 10 shows a week, to be in the Utah Shakespearean Festival. I was Calpurnia in Julius Caesar.

Did you do the role with that Southern lilt in your voice?

No! You can’t do Shakespeare with a Southern accent, honey. [In a perfect English accent] I was very classically trained.

Holy crap. That was a thousand times more convincing than a Gwyneth Paltrow movie.

Thank you, honey. You’re sweet.

Would you do that famous line from Julius Caesar, where Calpurnia begs her husband not to venture out during the ides of March.

Oh my God, I don’t know if I remember it.

"When beggars die there are no comets seen; the heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.” But do it Pensacola style.

O.K. O.K. [In perfect Southern twang] “The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes, pum’kin.”

That was beautiful. It even had shades of Victoria from Mike & Molly.

Well thank you, honey. I tried to sneak some of her in there.

Is she based on anybody you know?

Victoria? No, honey, she’s completely make-believe. It all just comes from my imagination.

But her obsession with weed, that's all you, right?

What do you mean?

You like the ganja?

Definitely not! I have never done that. I have never handled the weed situation. But Victoria loves it. She lives by it.

I actually believe you.

Really? That was easy.

Well, you called it “the weed situation.” I don’t think anybody who’s gotten high in their life has ever called it “the weed situation.”

I know, it’s embarrassing. I’m a partier, but maybe not as much as my characters are.

There’s something about the way you do Victoria that reminds me of Dody Goodman. Is that intentional?

I don’t remember her. The name sounds very familiar.

She was in Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman and Grease 2. The inflection in your voice is almost identical.

Oh wow. Well I’m definitely going to check her out.

Dody’s voice was once compared to “a Tweety Pie cartoon bird strangling on peanut butter.” Is that how you’d describe your voice?

Goodness! I hope not. The thing with Victoria is, she’s always in some state of being or becoming high. When she’s on that weed kick, her voice can get a little low. It’ll go [lowers her voice to a baritone] down here. But when she’s not high or she’s just slightly high, it goes up to a higher register [raises voice a few octaves] in this range. That’s the entire basis of her personality.

For somebody who doesn’t smoke weed, you’ve put a lot of thought into the chromatic scale of a stoner.

Thank you, honey. I’m going to take that as a compliment.

You know what I’d like to see? You and Jennifer Tilly and Joey Lauren Adams playing the witches in Macbeth.

Oh my god! I would do it in a millisecond.

You’ve all got such distinctively ditzy voices. [Doing a rotten impression] “Fair is foul, and foul is fair...”

[Doing a much better impression] “Hover through the fog and filthy air, honey.” Completely, yes. That would be genius.

Can we go ahead and announce it as being a real thing? Is that too presumptuous?

Please do. And if I’m asked, I’ll back it up. Oh sure, yeah, it’s completely true. I second that motion. It’s the power of positive thinking.

Let’s talk about Drive Angry, which opens next weekend. You’ve got a small part in it, yes?

That’s right, honey. I had a ball during that shoot. I spent seven days in Shreveport, Louisiana, working on my scenes. And Nick Cage, he’s just... he’s Nick Cage.

Meaning what? He’s batshit crazy? He tried to bite you between takes?

Not at all! He’s just so committed and so focused. When he’s in the moment and he’s doing a scene with you, he’s giving you the full Nick Cage experience. He’s in all his Nick Nick Cage–ness. You know what I mean?

Not in the slightest.

He’s a sweetie-pie.

Drive Angry was inspired by exploitation movies of the ’60s and ’70s. Are there going to be a lot of gratuitous boob shots?

I don’t believe so. There might be an aspect of that, but... well, let me put it this way: I didn’t show mine.

You’re positive about that? You're not going to be like Sharon Stone post–Basic Instinct and say, “I had no idea the camera was all up in my business?”

No, not at all. I play a waitress, so I’m wearing a pastel-pink waitress dress with an apron. There wasn’t even cleavage, honey. I just can’t do nudity. I’ll act my face off, but I can’t show the boobs. Not with my daddy watching everything I do.

Is that why you used a boob stand-in for Eastbound & Down?

That’s right, pumpkin. When they [Danny McBride and Jody Hill] told me about the nude scene, I was like, “Well boys, I guess we’re going to have to go with a body double, aren’t we?”

Did you meet her?

My body double? Not really. We finished doing the scene where Danny and I were making out in the car, and my shirt was supposed to be coming off. Jody yelled cut and then it’s “That’s a wrap for Katy Mixon for the day.” And then right while I was buttoning up, I saw them coming around the corner.

They? As in...?

The boobs. Darling, can I tell you something? It was an interesting situation. It’s surreal to see your boobs walking around the corner, coming right at you. I was gone in a hot second.

Drive Angry is a movie about fast cars. What's your ride?

Honey! Oh my God! I just got a Mercedes-Benz CLS550! I’m driving it right now while I’m talking to you. I got my Bluetooth set up a few weeks ago, and I finally learned how to use it. If I can just get the windows tinted a little bit, I could stay in here all day.

What’s the top speed on that bad boy?

I haven’t tried, but I believe it goes to 160.

How fast are you driving now?

I’m circling the block, because if I take you down to where I live, I’m going to lose you.

Do you live in the sewers with the mole people?

No, no, honey, it’s an above-ground neighborhood. But the cell-phone reception is terrible. So I’m driving about 20 miles an hour.

What would it take to get you up to 100 miles an hour?

One hundred?! Honey, I would crash!

O.K., 75.

I can’t do that! It’s a residential neighborhood. I’d kill somebody! It’d be terrible!

But it’d be a great way to promote the movie, right?

If I was on a highway or a dirt road someplace in the middle of nowhere, I would totally do it. But I’m just off the 4, near Beverly and Third.

Where is that? East L.A.? You’re telling me you can’t speed in East LA?

I don’t want to go to jail, honey!

Vanity Fair has a team of lawyers. I’ll make some calls; you’ll be back on the street before the weekend.

Honey, any other day of the week, on any other stretch of road, I can be a daredevil. But not here. There are kids playing on the street! What if I lost control?

Have you ever rolled a car before?

I haven’t, thank God. I’ve been in some wrecks. When I first moved out here, I was driving a Chevy Blazer that my parents gave me after college, and I totaled it. It wasn’t my fault, though. The other guy hit me. And after that I got a Ford Focus, which was a great car. I drove it for three years and never got into one accident.

And yet they still cast you in a movie called Drive Angry? That’s surprising.

Oh come on, pumpkin!

I’m not saying that by declining to break a few traffic laws in this interview, you’re an embarrassment to the entire Drive Angry cast and production team, but it doesn’t reflect very well on your professionalism.

O.K., let me try. There’s a motorcycle in front of me right now, and I don’t want to—

Just give him a gentle nudge.

I’m upping it to 30 now. [Long pause.] O.K., I’m at 35. [Pause.] Now I’m at 37.

I’m feeling the adrenaline rush.

It’s like I’m in a plane’s cockpit. That’s what I love about this car. It makes everything seem faster.

Yeah, sorry, I’m not buying it, Katy. I’m going to need a little more evidence that you’re as automotively reckless and irresponsible as you claim to be.

O.K., here’s something. I got stopped on the Warner Bros. set, where we shoot Mike & Molly. We’re at Stage 24, and it’s a straight shot from Gate 2, and I was running real late. So I was hitting on that gas, honey. And this studio security gal got on her motorcycle and she chased me down. When she came over to my car, she was hysterical. She was like, “You were going so fast!! You have to slow down!!” She took her job incredibly seriously, bless her heart. I was like, “I’m so sorry, ma’am.” Just sweet as pie.

Did she buy it?

Yep. She let me go. Didn’t give me a ticket at all. I’m pretty good at getting out of tickets. I’ve probably gotten only six speeding tickets in my life. Sometimes you just got to get on the real. You know what I mean, honey?

I think so. You mean use a Southern accent and call everybody honey?

Hey, whatever works.